rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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