dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
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I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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