Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
