I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
