If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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