Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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