the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
