New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
