They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
