the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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