We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
