I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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