I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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