i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
