Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
