I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
