I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
