so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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