why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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