Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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