I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
