High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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