No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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