can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
