office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
