You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
