I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
