So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize