FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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