i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
