I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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