So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
