Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
