They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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