how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
