Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i barfeds in our rink
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
