So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
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Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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