ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
