So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
