can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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