so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
