from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
