my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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