I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
