I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And my parents said I crawled through the house
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
