Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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