But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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