i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
