somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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