My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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