Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
