the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
