Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
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He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
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He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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