Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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