i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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