worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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