How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize