Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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