Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
