They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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