pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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