these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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