I think I won the penis lottery.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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