Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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