After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
