508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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